Sigh... life would be better if everybody support you. But, things never be as smooth as you wish...

 

There are times when you are so confuse...How can someone you care do such thing to you, or have such idea..that make u feel like vomiting...

 

Can't they understand, what they think is good for me might not be good for me...come on, who knows what future will be? Can they support what i am doing? or even have some faith on me??

 

soo sick...

wow...my last entry is on January,and it's July now. 

 

6 months...i didn't even think of logging in and update anything..hmm...ashame of myself.

 

ok, from now on, i have to start blogging again..at least 1 entry per month, to make a "history" of my own, haha..who knows, 10 or 20 yrs later, every single stuff that i blog will be something very special in my life.

 

1st thing i wanna blog is " i  did it ! "  Although it's a beginning, but at least i am doing it.

yeah...finally i am doing something i wanted to do. and i hope by next year i will be able to test my ability..how far i can go..am i the one ? the creator or the follower.

 

 

 

 

 

 

stop complaining...it won't bring u anywhere unless u do something...like "Escape"

 

 

yeah, that's what you have to do, escape from hell! it's too tiring to complain...anyway, things never change even if you complain everyday...and at the end what you get? more stress & unhappy...like living in hell for the shake of money!

 

why u still stay on when u tell everyone "it's not a job for human being" ...101 reasons...too busy to search for another job, the economy is bad, can't find a better job, blah blah blah...never ending reasons. and why u wanna complain when u urself choose to stay on??  

 

ok, tell me what u want? to stay on or to find a way out of here? everything is under your hand, you are the one who determine what's your future. Be patient., that's the 1st thing you should do. Next, think....and plan your way out of this hell. it might not be instant escape, but at least....u are doing something, something for your own good.

 

i wonder ...

 

i am so exhausted with the work load given to me, and they are giving more in future.

 

i keep on telling myself, it's ok, u are new, that's why u find it hard to finish your work in time. u only need to struggle for another 2 months and everything will be ok.

 

Will it be ok? can i go back home on time after 2 month? can i rest n enjoy my saturday? can i sleep well every nite without thinking of my work? without worrying ?

 

my life sucks...i am tired all the time, i don't hv time for myself, i've been working non-stop everyday, the pressure just make me feel sick all the time .

 

can i go through this?

 

i don't know how long can i stand. all i know is i m feeling sick now...really sick

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

that morning, when she told me that he left, i was shock. What kind of heartless man he is ? How could he just left without even saying anything? what's in his mind when he was planning  out every step?

 

A women married to a man when their baby was born, he lefted. leaving a hopeless women with a new born baby...after 13 years of struggling for living. she meet another guy, and they were getting married soon and she's pregnant again.Life suppose to be better, at least this women had found someone willing to take care of her. But, history repeat again.

 

i know something was wrong when i saw her with badage on her wrist...the way she speaks making me even nervous...tears begin to come out frm her eyes when she speak....i feel so sad that i can't do anything for her... I even don't know how to confort her...what should i says to a jobless pregnant lady with a 13 yr old son, she is not a teenager who broke up with boy friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not enough time

 

here, time is always not enough as it pass so fast..today is monday and then saturday is just like tomorrow.

 

it's funny, when i first came here, time is always hard to pass, but now i feel like i need more time, too much stuff to be done and yet too little time available..

 

 

 

 

 

yup, 1st entry since i step on this island name Singapuraaaa..

 

life sucks..the worst time i hate is after 6pm and on weekdays...sigh...i keep on thinking when will this kind of boring life style end? i m alone all the time that i scare one day, i might even can't speak anymore.

 

 i told JC, i want to go back KL once i finished 2 yr contract over here. and she told me:" life in KL aren't the same as here? " yeah, she is right, i m alone now, after 2 yrs, i am alone too..so, life still the same, just that i are in different place. I keep on thinking, what's the point i left sg to continue my boring life style in another state? stupid huh? i can earn double over here.

 

 

 

what is fate when nothing is done...does fate means you can just sit there,day dreaming all the time, and get rich after 10 yrs later..because your fate is to be a millionaire 10 yrs later.

 

sigh...used to believe in fate, but then when you think again, fate is nothing without begining..u have to make things happen and not waiting for it to happen. whatever u wish for in future, you gotta work it out now.

  

 

I told myself, i want to go sg, i want to work there, and then i started to search for jobs over there...and now, i got one.Suddently my heart feel so heavy, gosh..i m making a wrong decision, i don't want to go there anymore..i hate the job, i hate the people over there, and i hate living there...

 

 

 

Been getting very tension lately...can't sleep well every nite, keep on listening..whether there are sounds of door slamming, sound of keys...i hate to know things that i don't want to know.

 

 

 

 

At this moment, all i want to do is @#@#$$$%!!!!!!

 

why u r so stupid ?!!! stupid gal ! i m so dissapointed in u and i told myself that i don't want to care abt u anymore..let u be what u want. But i can't do it...i m not a cold blooded person, i m not emotionless...

 

should i hate u or hate myself?? for causing my life so missarable? am i too free? or beeing too kepoh??

 

shit! u r totally a stupid gal ! !@$@#@@$$!!

 

 

Don't understand, why teenagers never appreciate the love and cares frm their parents.

 

All they do is blaming the parents. In their mind, it's a fair game that parents should give whatever they want, let them do whatever they like...but what can they give back?? blaming, shouting at their parents, throw tantrum...is this the right way to treat someone who loves u more than herself or himself??who work day and nite, just to make sure their kids have the best?

 

Why they keep on blaming ? because their parents didn't let them buy branded stuff, because their parents didn't give enough pocket money, or because they can't hv lastest hand phone, ipod, psp ??

 

Pls be more matured. Don't do anything stupid to yourself just to make your parents angry or sad. Do u feel happier by doing it?? or maybe u feel happier if ur parents die?? how can u be so selfish? how can u do this to ur parents?

 

Sigh...u think u are old enough, u r an adult ? if u want your parents to treat u as an adult. Pls respect yourself first, be responsible to your own action..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both the same, a pro.

 

My 1st visit to the gynae,all i feel was like a piece of meat on the chopping board...

 

 

 

Been a mummy's good old daughter for too long..haha, too good to be Abby. Gotta do something fun..Anyway, celebrating christmas with friends was fun, cause i've not been socializing since i quit my job...maybe other will think that it's just a normal gathering and celebration but for me, it's great...i miss hanging out with friends, i miss having fun. They gotta know, my life is so dull in a small town, what i did everyday was just listening to aunties' "kepoh stories" , hv tea with aunties, and baking cakes at home... just like a house wife..hmm...maybe i m born to be a house wife..hahha..nah, house wife is not for me, but maybe rich tai tai will do...

 

Well, i m not being lazy, i do search for jobs, but what can i do when nobody call for interview..

 

what should i do? sigh...sigh...sigh..

 

kinda desperate, kinda bad mood and kinda bad luck.........

 

when can i get good news?? when can i start a new life? when when when????